Letters Home
2004-07-26, 9:17 a.m.

Since I've been really busy and I seem to be too busy to do much diary updating, I'm posting a letter I sent home this weekend to my parents. I'll probably do this often.

I went to see Farhenheit 9/11 today and it didn't do much to improve my mood. I cried during part of the movie, it was so sad. I'm just more convinced of the things I already knew. My Korean friend who watched it with me couldn't believe it was true. She kept asking me afterward if the people and the interviews were real. I told her they were very real. It was interesting to watch the movie with someone who isn't american and to see her reaction.

I thought about what you said today about the movie you guys watched "What the bleep?" I know that we can have a huge effect on our own reality and that everything is just perspective. Juan Miguel Ruiz, said a lot of the same things in his books and I believe them to be true. I keep trying to tell myself that if I want to be happy then I should just be happy. I should appreciate the things I have and all of the things that are good in my life but it's been hard for me to do.

Eventhough I wasn't happy at my job in _______, I had many moments of peace and clarity in my life when I was happy to be alive. I remember all of the times I spent running on the Tabaguache trail watching the sun come up or watching the sunset. It's hard to tell you how much I miss those things now that they are gone. Those were the things that made everthing else bearable. But in Korea even those simple pleasures are gone.

I've been spending alot of time trying to figure out what I need to be happy. Training for this marathon is helping me cope with it all. But sometimes, it doesn't seem like enough I keep telling myself that it's just the six month doldrums. I know that other people go through this. Eventually, things will turn out allright. Right?

The days seem to drag on into weeks and eventually another month has gone by yet 5 more months feels like an eternity away. My consolation is that once I leave, I will forget all of the bad things that happened and all of the difficulties and Korea will be a distant, magical memory.

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